At Insight Matters we have 75 talented psychotherapists, psychologists, counsellors and wellness practitioners.  We are proud our therapists come from diverse backgrounds, ethnicities, the neurodiverse and LGBTQ community and are passionate about supporting our clients on a wide range of issues.

Along with supporting our clients through counselling and psychotherapy we also want to help them become more informed and assist them to take charge of their own mental journey through psychoeducational articles written by our therapists.

Eleanor Dunn respects the uniqueness of each person and believes that no aspect of ourselves can be ignored; either mind, body, emotions or spirit. Her desire is to support people to live their lives to the full.

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It seems that nearly every article we read these days about mental health, especially now during these COVID-19 times, reminds us of the importance of looking after ourselves by eating well, sleeping well, doing things we enjoy and getting the support we need. It is becoming the mantra in the mental health world and almost clichéd. But why is it so important?

When I was training to be a psychotherapist, I was also working in homeless services. Specifically, I was working in an addiction treatment service and grappling to understand how best I could support these people who had been through so much but who also clearly needed something to change in their lives to help them to move out of the cycle of suffering and chaos in which they were caught.

It seemed obvious to me that it was not failure or some kind of personal shortcoming that led the people I met through my work to the place they found themselves; who would choose this for themselves after all? No, it was the trauma and suffering they had endured over many, many years that was weighing them down and that they could not find a way out of. This was confirmed for me as I listened to story after story of a childhood of abuse, hardship and extraordinary pain. They were almost drowning in their trauma.

Yet trauma, by its definition, is overwhelming, so to open up to that trauma seemed too much to ask, dangerous almost. I also knew what therapy training had thought me; that it is so often that by facing exactly what has hurt and damaged us that we heal and liberate ourselves from it. It seemed to me then, that we were all stuck. The way through was too overwhelming, but there was no healing without it.

At the time I remember reading a seminal book on trauma called Trauma and Recovery by Judith Herman. Reading the book gave me the insight I needed to clarify how I could best support people through my work. Without the inner resources to support themselves, look after themselves, be good to themselves, their bodies and psyches would never get to a place where they could deal with the trauma they had experienced. My job was to drive that message home and support them to develop the tools and habits of self-care.

Not all of us experience homelessness of course, but many of us, and perhaps most who seek out therapy, have experienced trauma to a greater or lesser extent in our lives. To heal the trauma and the wounds, to do what therapists often call ‘integrate’ the trauma, we need to have the internal resources to do so. We need to know what to do to soothe ourselves when our boss gives us a bad performance review at work, or our anxiety rampages in the fear that she will. We need to know what to do when our body is exhausted because of all the tension and tightness it is holding from days of overworking. We need to be able to give the body a chance to loosen and soften; maybe through yoga or playing tennis or going for a walk. We need to know what to do when our head is spinning a hundred miles an hour like there is washing machine inside our skulls; we need to be able to slow it down, a least a little, perhaps by a healthy distraction into the present moment of what is right here, right now. We need to learn the skills of self-compassion to counter the critic in our heads. We need to learn to regulate ourselves when our emotions are swinging from panic through to numbness.

This takes work of course. Sometimes I say to clients ‘You wouldn’t expect to get fit after one visit to the gym?’ No, we have to take our nervous systems, the regulator of much of our emotional storms, to the gym; exposing our nervous systems to what it feels like to be at ease and grounded and feel well-being and safety, over and over and over again.

Then, and only then, can we approach the work of integration, when we can begin to talk of our wounds, search back into the history of our pain, and know that, even if it hurts deeply, we wouldn’t be overwhelmed by it, that we will still be moored to a sense of safety and stability in ourselves, because we have learned how to resource ourselves, and we have learned how to take care of ourselves in the midst of our pain and struggles, without being overwhelmed.

The post The Importance of Resourcing Ourselves appeared first on Insight Matters.

At Insight Matters we have 75 talented psychotherapists, psychologists and counsellors.  We are proud our therapists come from diverse backgrounds, ethnicities, the neurodiverse and LGBTQ community and are passionate about supporting our clients on a wide range of issues.

Along with supporting our clients through counselling and psychotherapy we also want to help them become more informed and assist them to take charge of their own mental journey through psychoeducational articles written by our therapists.

Norma Simpson provides a secure, warm and non-judgemental environment in which the clients’ natural capacity for healing, self-understanding and change is supported.

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Online Counselling – Reaching out for help during Covid-19

We are all facing uncertain and challenging times. Covid-19 has had a profound impact on our lives. The pressures of adapting to a new, restricted way of life and of juggling work and family commitments can have a detrimental impact on our physical and emotional well-being. If you find you are struggling, or feeling overwhelmed, you are not alone. Talking to a counselling professional can really help.

How can counselling help?

You may be feeling distressed or anxious about a current issue or something from your past, or recognize the need to implement certain changes to enjoy a healthier, more fulfilling life. Your counsellor can provide a warm, supportive and secure environment where you can explore the issues that matter to you.

Some problems can get worse over time if they remain unaddressed. By sharing your thoughts, feelings and experiences, those difficulties become more manageable. Your therapist can provide understanding, encouragement and support as you navigate particular challenges or develop new life skills.

Is online counselling for me?

In our current times, we are reliant on technology to communicate with others and to access key support services. If you are apprehensive about the use of technology, your therapist can help with any questions and will often send you a link to connect to each session remotely. It is important to ensure that you have good anti-virus software on your computer and have a safe and comfortable space for your work.

Some people may wonder if online therapy is effective or whether it is possible to form a connection with someone remotely. A successful client/therapist relationship is built on trust, warmth and respect. From the very first session, your therapist will listen empathically and help you to find a way forward.

Reaching out for support

It is extremely courageous to admit that you are struggling or are feeling vulnerable. By reaching out for support, you are taking care of your physical and emotional well-being. You may, for example, be experiencing feelings of loneliness, anxiety or find that the current restrictions are putting a strain on your relationship. You may be worried about a loved one, or are coping with grief and loss or are in financial distress and perhaps facing an uncertain future.

By attending counselling, you will have the opportunity to explore and work through the issues that you choose to bring in a safe, empathic and non-judgemental setting. This can lead to greater self-understanding, self-compassion and the development of those skills and resources that will prove beneficial in managing your personal difficulties.

You do not have to deal with these issues alone. Online counselling can help.

The post Online Counselling – How can it help? appeared first on Insight Matters.

At Insight Matters we have 55 talented psychotherapists, psychologists and counsellors.  We are proud our therapists come from diverse backgrounds, ethnicities, the neurodiverse and LGBTQ community and are passionate about supporting our clients on a wide range of issues.

Along with supporting our clients through counselling and psychotherapy we also want to help them become more informed and assist them to take charge of their own mental journey through psychoeducational articles written by our therapists.

Linda Wilkinson is one our psychotherapists and she offers a safe, empathic and non-judgemental space for others to work through the challenges they may be experiencing.

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We are all living in very unnatural times, whether you are self-isolating due a suspected exposure, in the high-risk category or staying at home to help prevent the spread of infection, you may find yourself experiencing feelings of loneliness and isolation.

While some of you maybe already familiar with spending long periods of time alone, for many of us including myself this is a new experience. I found it difficult to admit to myself that this was how I was feeling. I was missing the connection of my loved ones, my work, my routine, my freedom. This urged me to put together some ideas for those of you who maybe finding it hard to cope with feelings of loneliness and isolation.

1. Find ways to connect with others.

If you are comfortable using technology there are numerous ways you can stay in touch. Staying social in non-traditional ways can also help you feel less isolated.

. Place calls using zoom, skype of facetime.

. Re-connect with someone you have not spoken to in a while by making a phone call

. Send a handwritten letter or make a post card.

. Sign up to online forums about your interests and hobbies

2. Comfort yourself.

Find ways to comfort and nurture yourself.

. Give yourself a huge tight hug and really feel it

. Have a relaxing lavender bath

. Give yourself a foot massage and hold your foot in the warmth of your hands

. Have a cup of herbal tea

. Light scented candles

. Cook your favourite comfort food

3. Get Creative

Getting lost in creativity can be very therapeutic.

. Write short stories.

. Start to paint, art is a wonderful way to express your feelings.

. Get creative in your work shed

. Begin using your needles and wool or tapestry project again.

4. Engage in Healthy Distractions

. Reading can be a great distraction, books, poetry, magazines of interest, join an online book

club.

. Watch TV, podcasts, TED talks, Youtube topics of interest, Boxsets. Netflix.

. Play a musical instrument, listen to music, create a playlist of feel good music.

5. Stay Moving

. Exercise is really important for our mental and physical wellbeing, it can take in many

different forms.

. House work and cleaning

. Walking up and down the stairs

. Taking part in an exercise class on line.

. Joining a yoga or Pilates class on line.

. Gardening

6. Show Compassion to Others

This may seem counterintuitive, but offering help and a listening ear to others who are also feeling lonely and isolated can make you feel less lonely yourself.

7. Self Compassion

Practicing self-compassion is very important at this difficult time. Don’t put undue pressure on yourself with the “shoulds, musts and oughts”. We are all going through challenging times right now. If you find yourself struggling with difficult feelings and emotions, don’t resist them, gently accept them as they come and go, this helps to take away their power and ease your struggles with them.

If you are really struggling with loneliness and isolation during this time and are not able to pull yourself out of those feelings, it is important to reach out. Online counselling is available. Don’t go this alone.

I hope this provides some tips to those of self-isolating and feeling lonely.

Take care,

Linda Wilkinson MIACP

The post How to Cope with Loneliness during the Coronavirus Pandemic  appeared first on Insight Matters.

At Insight Matters we have 55 talented psychotherapists, psychologists and counsellors.  We are proud our therapists come from diverse backgrounds, ethnicities, the neurodiverse and LGBTQ community and are passionate about supporting our clients on a wide range of issues.

Along with supporting our clients through counselling and psychotherapy we also want to help them become more informed and assist them to take charge of their own mental journey through psychoeducational articles written by our therapists.

Dave Phillips is one our psychotherapists and he has a special interest in grief and bereavement, trauma-informed therapy, and existential issues. He also works with people preparing for, or recovering from surgery. 

Trauma can be a bit of a scary word…

In my experience it is a word that is frequently misunderstood, and it is a word that many of us veer away from, as it makes us uncomfortable. When we think of trauma we think of big, disruptive events. We see trauma on the news or in films, when there are catastrophic events or violent assaults.

We are less likely to see the things that happen in our own lives as traumatic. Even when there are events that are terrible, we tend to try to contain our own trauma, we try to smother it, and quieten it down. We often hope that the past will stay in the past and we can just carry on, but sometimes that doesn’t work.

I hope by the end of this you’ll have a better understanding of trauma, that it will seem a little less scary, and that you will have a better idea of how to get help if you need it.

What is trauma?

Simply put, trauma is what happens when we are overwhelmed to the point that we are no longer able to process or integrate what is happening.

There are several ways this can happen. It can happen as a once-off traumatic event like being in a car crash, being physically or sexually assaulted, experiencing a severe illness, or being in a disaster or warzone. Even being a witness to these kind of situations can be overwhelming. These potentially life-threatening events can lead to what is often referred to as ‘Capital T’ or ‘acute’ trauma.

But trauma can also happen through smaller events over time. ‘Small t’ or ‘chronic’ trauma can occur in a variety of situations such as living through a time where you are neglected or abused, living through health scares, bereavements, relationship breakdowns, or living with financial instability. The build-up of these smaller events that cause us prolonged periods of stress can overwhelm us in much the same way.

It is important to note that not all people who go through these circumstances, whether ‘Capital T’ or ‘Small t’ experience trauma. Sometimes we can go through very difficult experiences and find a way to process and integrate that experience outside of a therapy room, or we can have symptoms that slow down after a few weeks. However, when symptoms persist then therapy can be a very valuable option.

How does trauma show itself?

With ‘Capital T’ trauma, the link is often more obvious. We might experience flashbacks to the specific event, or find ourselves having recurrent nightmares connected to it. We might get on edge, or hypervigilant, when we find ourselves in similar circumstances. There are often feelings of anger or depression. It feels as if what happened is intruding on our day to day existence, and stopping us from living our lives as we wish we could. We can fall into addictive behaviours to try to counterbalance these feelings.

With ‘small t’ trauma it can be more difficult to see. People will often say ‘I don’t know what is wrong with me’. We can feel suddenly, inexplicably anxious or depressed. Or we might find ourselves over and over failing to set out what we achieved. It can be easy to see ourselves as weak or broken, and to grow frustrated and resentful with ourselves.

For all trauma survivors, one of the clearest ways we can see the impact is in our relationships. If we have been through experiences that have overwhelmed and hurt us, it makes sense that there is a certain reluctance to trust in people. We might assume that they will abandon us, or that they cannot be counted on, or that they cannot comprehend us. We might find it tough to maintain healthy, trusting relationships and that can lead to a sense of isolation.

How can counselling and therapy can help with trauma?

At the very heart of therapy is the connection between the client and the therapist. Working with a therapist to explore how trauma affects us is a slow and careful process. While telling our story may be part of therapy, it is not simply a case of recounting the event, doing that can often make us feel overwhelmed once again.

Working with trauma in therapy involves getting familiar with our own set of warning signals, so we can recognise when we are getting close to feeling overwhelmed. It involves learning exercises and ways that we can self-regulate, to bring our own emotions and thoughts back down to a level that feels manageable.

This way, over time, it begins to get easier to explore the trauma at a pace that feels safe, and to find creative ways to integrate it into our lives. Because we are doing this with a therapist, it is also a really important way to rebuild trust and connections, which allows us to have more meaningful relationships and to step out a cycle of isolation.

Post-traumatic growth

Dealing with trauma is undoubtedly one of the toughest things we can do. At some point we come to a stage where the potential risk involved in confronting trauma outweighs the pain of trying to keep it contained.

The good news is that when we go through this process, we can learn a whole new set of skills that can be applied in many areas in life. Researchers refer to this as ‘post-traumatic growth’, and it is important to keep in mind that we are naturally resilient, and that given the right circumstances and knowledge, we can move through very painful situations in life and come out the other side with a sense of strength and possibility.

The post What is Trauma? appeared first on Insight Matters.

You and the therapist will explore thoughts, feelings and behaviours that may be causing emotional and physical distress. Together you will discover new healthier ways of coping and letting go of past experiences, enabling you to move forward with your life.

At Insight Matters we are committed to providing services built on the highest ethical standards, care and respect for our clients.

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FAQs: Can psychotherapy or counselling help me?

Psychotherapy has helped many people deal with mental or emotional distress, which can be experienced in many ways including:

• Anxiety or an inability to cope or concentrate
• Inability to deal with stress or recover from stressful situations
• Lack of confidence or excessive shyness
• Feelings of depression, sadness, grief or emptiness
• Extreme mood swings
• Difficulty making or sustaining relationships, or repeatedly becoming involved in unsatisfying or destructive relationships
• Sexual problems
• Difficulties in coming to terms with losses such as bereavement, divorce or loss of employment
• Exploring Sexuality (LGBTQ)
• Questioning gender identity
• Eating disorders
• Suicidal thoughts, effects of suicide and self-harm
• Obsessive behaviour
• Panic attacks and phobia
• Addiction

Therapy works best when a collaborative relationship is formed between therapist and client. When you see a psychotherapist or counsellor you get to learn more about yourself and how your mind and body works and the relationship between your beliefs and thoughts and how you feel and behave.

The post Can Psychotherapy or Counselling Help? appeared first on Insight Matters.