Have your experiences during pregnancy, birth or the post-natal period affected you so much that they still have an impact on your day-to-day life?

If so, you are not alone.

According to research, as many as a third of all women rate their birth experience as traumatic and a small, yet significant, number have symptoms associated with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Women suffering from PTSD as a result of a traumatic birth experience may experience flashbacks, intrusive memories that are difficult to shake off, and/or emotional and physical distress when reminded of the trauma, for example on the anniversary of the birth, when driving by the hospital etc.

In some instances, these memories also impact women to such an extent that they are fearful of becoming pregnant once again.

If this sounds like you, there is help available.

You may experience cognitive and mood-related symptoms such as: a lack of interest in daily activities, becoming detached from others, feeling negative about yourself, having a hard time thinking positively, difficulty remembering key details surrounding the traumatic event or blaming yourself or others for the traumatic event.

You may have increased arousal symptoms, difficulty sleeping, demonstrating irritable behaviour, experience difficulty in concentrating or have increased vigilance feeling a constant sense of danger for you or your baby.

You may find yourself avoiding anything related to the trauma you endured, which in-turn may impact on the way you chose to live your life.

We create our own experience through the thoughts we have and the feelings that they generate, so we need to be mindful of what those thoughts and feeling are and how they are impacting our day-to-day existence.

Be assured that it is your perception of your birth experience that matters. The birth may have looked ‘normal’ and perhaps had a good outcome for the baby but that doesn’t negate the psychological impact it had on you. Your story is important. You are important.

Psychotherapy may help by providing a safe space for you to share your story. The goals of therapy are threefold:

• Decrease or eliminate your symptoms;
• Provide you with the right tools to manage your symptoms; and
• Bring back your confidence and self-esteem.

It may also provide some closure and a readiness to move towards feeling differently day to day. As soon as you begin treatment you will have turned a corner, and in a few short months, you will start to feel better

“Birth is not only about making babies.  Birth is also about making mothers – strong, competent, capable mothers, who trust themselves and know their inner strength”

Katz Rothman.

The post Birth Matters appeared first on Insight Matters.

At Insight Matters we have 75 talented psychotherapists, psychologists, counsellors and wellness practitioners.  We are proud our therapists come from diverse backgrounds, ethnicities, the neurodiverse and LGBTQ community and are passionate about supporting our clients on a wide range of issues.

Along with supporting our clients through counselling and psychotherapy we also want to help them become more informed and assist them to take charge of their own mental journey through psychoeducational articles written by our therapists.

Eleanor Dunn respects the uniqueness of each person and believes that no aspect of ourselves can be ignored; either mind, body, emotions or spirit. Her desire is to support people to live their lives to the full.

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It seems that nearly every article we read these days about mental health, especially now during these COVID-19 times, reminds us of the importance of looking after ourselves by eating well, sleeping well, doing things we enjoy and getting the support we need. It is becoming the mantra in the mental health world and almost clichéd. But why is it so important?

When I was training to be a psychotherapist, I was also working in homeless services. Specifically, I was working in an addiction treatment service and grappling to understand how best I could support these people who had been through so much but who also clearly needed something to change in their lives to help them to move out of the cycle of suffering and chaos in which they were caught.

It seemed obvious to me that it was not failure or some kind of personal shortcoming that led the people I met through my work to the place they found themselves; who would choose this for themselves after all? No, it was the trauma and suffering they had endured over many, many years that was weighing them down and that they could not find a way out of. This was confirmed for me as I listened to story after story of a childhood of abuse, hardship and extraordinary pain. They were almost drowning in their trauma.

Yet trauma, by its definition, is overwhelming, so to open up to that trauma seemed too much to ask, dangerous almost. I also knew what therapy training had thought me; that it is so often that by facing exactly what has hurt and damaged us that we heal and liberate ourselves from it. It seemed to me then, that we were all stuck. The way through was too overwhelming, but there was no healing without it.

At the time I remember reading a seminal book on trauma called Trauma and Recovery by Judith Herman. Reading the book gave me the insight I needed to clarify how I could best support people through my work. Without the inner resources to support themselves, look after themselves, be good to themselves, their bodies and psyches would never get to a place where they could deal with the trauma they had experienced. My job was to drive that message home and support them to develop the tools and habits of self-care.

Not all of us experience homelessness of course, but many of us, and perhaps most who seek out therapy, have experienced trauma to a greater or lesser extent in our lives. To heal the trauma and the wounds, to do what therapists often call ‘integrate’ the trauma, we need to have the internal resources to do so. We need to know what to do to soothe ourselves when our boss gives us a bad performance review at work, or our anxiety rampages in the fear that she will. We need to know what to do when our body is exhausted because of all the tension and tightness it is holding from days of overworking. We need to be able to give the body a chance to loosen and soften; maybe through yoga or playing tennis or going for a walk. We need to know what to do when our head is spinning a hundred miles an hour like there is washing machine inside our skulls; we need to be able to slow it down, a least a little, perhaps by a healthy distraction into the present moment of what is right here, right now. We need to learn the skills of self-compassion to counter the critic in our heads. We need to learn to regulate ourselves when our emotions are swinging from panic through to numbness.

This takes work of course. Sometimes I say to clients ‘You wouldn’t expect to get fit after one visit to the gym?’ No, we have to take our nervous systems, the regulator of much of our emotional storms, to the gym; exposing our nervous systems to what it feels like to be at ease and grounded and feel well-being and safety, over and over and over again.

Then, and only then, can we approach the work of integration, when we can begin to talk of our wounds, search back into the history of our pain, and know that, even if it hurts deeply, we wouldn’t be overwhelmed by it, that we will still be moored to a sense of safety and stability in ourselves, because we have learned how to resource ourselves, and we have learned how to take care of ourselves in the midst of our pain and struggles, without being overwhelmed.

The post The Importance of Resourcing Ourselves appeared first on Insight Matters.

“I can’t even explain the love that you feel for your child, it is more powerful than anything I have felt before.” These are the words that I heard from a Mum that I worked with over six years ago and they have stayed with me. They are also not the first worlds I have heard about the love between a mother and her child and they definitely won’t be the last. 

I hear from Mums all the time how becoming a Mum was the best thing that ever happened to them. They share with me their lovely stories of how their baby came into this world, they share all the little moments as well as all the big ones and as they do so you can just see the love in their eyes as they light up telling their stories. They tell me about their day and how they spent it, they tell me about the places they went and the activities they planned, and in most of these conversations that I have, they very rarely talk about themselves, or how they feel or what they want. Why? Because they feel guilty if they do.

Mums are so used to taking care of everyone else that when the time comes that the kids go off to school or even fly the nest, they don’t know what to do with themselves. They have been a carer to everyone else for so long that they have in some ways forgotten who they were and what they loved to do before they became a Mum.

Mums are so used to giving, that when faced with a question such as “What do you want?” they don’t know how to answer. 

This is where wellness coaching can help. Coaching can help Mums to feel safe, heard and understood.  In the coaching space Mums are encouraged to dream big, explore and rediscover whatever it is that they would like out of life. 

Wellness Coaching is for you if you are: 

• Giving all your energy to others and leaving very little for yourself
• Feeling overwhelmed, stressed or unmotivated
• A little lost in life
• Struggling to find your passion
• Lacking confidence 
• Afraid to share your desires with others
• Feeling guilty for thinking of yourself
• Feeling like you do not deserve time for you

Wellness coaching can:

• Give you back that awesome energy that will be enough for everyone
• Kick overwhelm and stress out the window and make you feel super motivated
• Reawaken your dreams and goals to help you find your path
• Help you to rediscover your passions
• Boost your confidence so you feel like superwoman
• Empower you to share your desires with assurance and ease
• Help you say goodbye to that ugly guilt monster
• Restore the love between you and yourself so you never doubt how much you deserve some time

It is an absolute joy to see when Mums rediscover what it is they want out of life, when they learn that it is possible to be an awesome parent and to take time to go after the life of their dreams!  

And please remember, you are awesome, you are doing amazing and you deserve the best! 

Warm wishes,

Sadb Boushel-Payne

-Wellness Coach

The post Restore your energy and reawaken your dreams with Wellness Coaching for Mums appeared first on Insight Matters.

At Insight Matters we have 75 talented psychotherapists, psychologists and counsellors.  We are proud our therapists come from diverse backgrounds, ethnicities, the neurodiverse and LGBTQ community and are passionate about supporting our clients on a wide range of issues.

Along with supporting our clients through counselling and psychotherapy we also want to help them become more informed and assist them to take charge of their own mental journey through psychoeducational articles written by our therapists.

Norma Simpson provides a secure, warm and non-judgemental environment in which the clients’ natural capacity for healing, self-understanding and change is supported.

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Online Counselling – Reaching out for help during Covid-19

We are all facing uncertain and challenging times. Covid-19 has had a profound impact on our lives. The pressures of adapting to a new, restricted way of life and of juggling work and family commitments can have a detrimental impact on our physical and emotional well-being. If you find you are struggling, or feeling overwhelmed, you are not alone. Talking to a counselling professional can really help.

How can counselling help?

You may be feeling distressed or anxious about a current issue or something from your past, or recognize the need to implement certain changes to enjoy a healthier, more fulfilling life. Your counsellor can provide a warm, supportive and secure environment where you can explore the issues that matter to you.

Some problems can get worse over time if they remain unaddressed. By sharing your thoughts, feelings and experiences, those difficulties become more manageable. Your therapist can provide understanding, encouragement and support as you navigate particular challenges or develop new life skills.

Is online counselling for me?

In our current times, we are reliant on technology to communicate with others and to access key support services. If you are apprehensive about the use of technology, your therapist can help with any questions and will often send you a link to connect to each session remotely. It is important to ensure that you have good anti-virus software on your computer and have a safe and comfortable space for your work.

Some people may wonder if online therapy is effective or whether it is possible to form a connection with someone remotely. A successful client/therapist relationship is built on trust, warmth and respect. From the very first session, your therapist will listen empathically and help you to find a way forward.

Reaching out for support

It is extremely courageous to admit that you are struggling or are feeling vulnerable. By reaching out for support, you are taking care of your physical and emotional well-being. You may, for example, be experiencing feelings of loneliness, anxiety or find that the current restrictions are putting a strain on your relationship. You may be worried about a loved one, or are coping with grief and loss or are in financial distress and perhaps facing an uncertain future.

By attending counselling, you will have the opportunity to explore and work through the issues that you choose to bring in a safe, empathic and non-judgemental setting. This can lead to greater self-understanding, self-compassion and the development of those skills and resources that will prove beneficial in managing your personal difficulties.

You do not have to deal with these issues alone. Online counselling can help.

The post Online Counselling – How can it help? appeared first on Insight Matters.

As an #LGBTQ family owned practice we wanted to mark Pride 2020, announce our expansion & send a message of support & solidarity to our beloved community that is struggling with the lack of a physical festival this year.

Here’s our first in-house film – a huge thank you to Niki Gomez our Marketing consultant, Luke Tidball our editor and Beta Bajgartova for their commitment & creativity.

Happy Pride!

The post If you need us, we’re queer and we’re here! appeared first on Insight Matters.

At Insight Matters we have 60 talented psychotherapists, psychologists and counsellors.  We are proud our therapists come from diverse backgrounds, ethnicities, the neurodiverse and LGBTQ community and are passionate about supporting our clients on a wide range of issues.

Along with supporting our clients through counselling and psychotherapy we also want to help them become more informed and assist them to take charge of their own mental journey through psychoeducational articles written by our therapists.

Tracy Mallon is one our psychotherapists and works with individuals, couples and families and has special interests in neurodiversity, mental illness, anger management, PTSD/CPTSD, issues related to childhood trauma/abuse, family estrangement and sexual trauma. 

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Hi there!

A very warm welcome to this space, especially created to offer you a little tenderness. The very fact that you are reading this is a testimony to our need for compassion and tenderness, now more than ever. It is my wish that these words will offer you some of what you long for to regulate your system and feel at ease in your body and your mind.

How are you really doing? I hope you are well; I trust that you are keeping safe and sane in any way you know how. I hope you are finding ways to make these extraordinary days bearable, whatever that means for you. I hope you have enough food, a comfortable space to curl up with a good movie, series, or book, and the care of neighbours, friends or family who check-in and, or keep connected regularly on video chat.

For those who need help to keep going to work in essential jobs, with things like childcare, cooked meals or weekly shopping, be sure that it is okay for YOU to reach out too!!  In reaching out you can bring a sense of purpose to others who would like to be of service too during the pandemic, none of us can do it all alone, share the load in whatever way you can, this will mean your needs get met, and your needs are just as vitally important as the needs of your customers, your patients, your boss, your clients.

Some, just like you maybe, are so used to doing it all, to always being the helpful one, the carer, the one everyone looks to and relies on. When this is what is familiar to you, it can feel so difficult, so uncomfortable, or even scary, to reach out to someone else for a helping hand for yourself. Perhaps this is with good reason, perhaps you have never had anybody to rely on before. Maybe you have overcome your discomfort to make that move and reach out in the past, only to be refused or turned away by the person you needed. Perhaps you were made to feel bad for asking for something of someone else. It’s important to know that not everyone can help you, not everyone is able to be supportive in the way you need, but that does not mean that you should give up on ever finding the people who can and will support you. Sometimes we need to change where we look for those who can and will happily meet us how we need and not shame us for having needed them.

If you are getting by and have all you need and can lend a hand to help another by fixing a meal, helping out with essential childcare, or doing a weekly shop for another, then please keep reaching out, and keep offering, as the longer this goes on the more in need our essential workers may be, so somebody who refused your help in the previous weeks, might now quite gratefully receive that good deed.

If you are struggling or if you are getting by, know that you are safe and doing the best you can, we all react to events in different ways. There’s no need to add to the stress or struggle. If you don’t feel like taking on more, this may already be a challenge enough for you just to support yourself, or if living with your immediate family, so you may need to SAY NO to taking on a helping role to others, be assured that’s okay too.

No one size fits all, you may find it helpful to keep a schedule, you may find it creates pressure to think about being productive or more productive, right now. So when you see posts on media platforms suggesting you lack discipline, if you are not doing all the things you always wanted to do, remember this is an opinion of a person unknown to you, it is a harsh an ill-considered generalised pronouncement that takes no account of the global trauma being experienced on multiple layers in our society now. So, while keeping busy and focused might be an adaptive coping skill for one, it may be more dysregulating and distressing for someone who is in survival mode and working hard to get by.

The most important thing for each of us to do is take care, know that you are enough, that you are doing your best, reach out or accept help that’s offered if you can, be safe, be well and this will pass.

Perhaps you could experiment with me now, if you are open to this and it feels safe for you to do so,

• Place a hand or both hands on your heart.
• Take a breath. And just notice the inhale and the exhale, how fast or slow is your breathing, are your breaths shallow or deeper, simply observing now without any need to adjust anything.
• Notice, if you can, the beating of your heart, you are alive.
• If you can try out the following phrases, say gently to yourself; I’m okay; I’m here now and I’m always doing my best; this time is difficult because there is so much risk, worry and sadness; I need consoling, I offer myself love and compassion; I offer all other beings love and compassion.

Remember when we bring love and compassion to ourselves, we are adding to the love and compassion in the world. Continue to mind yourself.

Warmth & Goodness,

Tracy.

The post A Little Tenderness… appeared first on Insight Matters.

At Insight Matters we have 55 talented psychotherapists, psychologists and counsellors.  We are proud our therapists come from diverse backgrounds, ethnicities, the neurodiverse and LGBTQ community and are passionate about supporting our clients on a wide range of issues.

Along with supporting our clients through counselling and psychotherapy we also want to help them become more informed and assist them to take charge of their own mental journey through psychoeducational articles written by our therapists.

Linda Wilkinson is one our psychotherapists and she offers a safe, empathic and non-judgemental space for others to work through the challenges they may be experiencing.

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We are all living in very unnatural times, whether you are self-isolating due a suspected exposure, in the high-risk category or staying at home to help prevent the spread of infection, you may find yourself experiencing feelings of loneliness and isolation.

While some of you maybe already familiar with spending long periods of time alone, for many of us including myself this is a new experience. I found it difficult to admit to myself that this was how I was feeling. I was missing the connection of my loved ones, my work, my routine, my freedom. This urged me to put together some ideas for those of you who maybe finding it hard to cope with feelings of loneliness and isolation.

1. Find ways to connect with others.

If you are comfortable using technology there are numerous ways you can stay in touch. Staying social in non-traditional ways can also help you feel less isolated.

. Place calls using zoom, skype of facetime.

. Re-connect with someone you have not spoken to in a while by making a phone call

. Send a handwritten letter or make a post card.

. Sign up to online forums about your interests and hobbies

2. Comfort yourself.

Find ways to comfort and nurture yourself.

. Give yourself a huge tight hug and really feel it

. Have a relaxing lavender bath

. Give yourself a foot massage and hold your foot in the warmth of your hands

. Have a cup of herbal tea

. Light scented candles

. Cook your favourite comfort food

3. Get Creative

Getting lost in creativity can be very therapeutic.

. Write short stories.

. Start to paint, art is a wonderful way to express your feelings.

. Get creative in your work shed

. Begin using your needles and wool or tapestry project again.

4. Engage in Healthy Distractions

. Reading can be a great distraction, books, poetry, magazines of interest, join an online book

club.

. Watch TV, podcasts, TED talks, Youtube topics of interest, Boxsets. Netflix.

. Play a musical instrument, listen to music, create a playlist of feel good music.

5. Stay Moving

. Exercise is really important for our mental and physical wellbeing, it can take in many

different forms.

. House work and cleaning

. Walking up and down the stairs

. Taking part in an exercise class on line.

. Joining a yoga or Pilates class on line.

. Gardening

6. Show Compassion to Others

This may seem counterintuitive, but offering help and a listening ear to others who are also feeling lonely and isolated can make you feel less lonely yourself.

7. Self Compassion

Practicing self-compassion is very important at this difficult time. Don’t put undue pressure on yourself with the “shoulds, musts and oughts”. We are all going through challenging times right now. If you find yourself struggling with difficult feelings and emotions, don’t resist them, gently accept them as they come and go, this helps to take away their power and ease your struggles with them.

If you are really struggling with loneliness and isolation during this time and are not able to pull yourself out of those feelings, it is important to reach out. Online counselling is available. Don’t go this alone.

I hope this provides some tips to those of self-isolating and feeling lonely.

Take care,

Linda Wilkinson MIACP

The post How to Cope with Loneliness during the Coronavirus Pandemic  appeared first on Insight Matters.

At Insight Matters we have a Relationship and Parent Mentor and 55 talented psychotherapists, psychologists, and counsellors.  We are proud our therapists come from diverse backgrounds, ethnicities, the neurodiverse and LGBTQI+ community and are passionate about supporting our clients on a wide range of issues.

Along with supporting our clients through counselling, psychotherapy and mentoring we also want to help them become more informed and assist them to take charge of their own mental health journey through articles written by our therapists.

Aoife Ryan is a Relationship and Parent Mentor and she provides a safe space where clients can explore all aspects of self, and look at their relationship with self and the relationships they have with others around them.

I AM a qualified and experienced Parent and Relationship Mentor and am delighted to say that I have finally found my passion in life! A question that I am frequently asked, and would like to take a little time here to explain, is “What exactly is Parent Mentoring?”

I am a parent to two super kids, aged nine and eleven.  They are what brought me into this line of work, and I am so thankful to them for that.  Shortly after I had my second child, seventeen months apart from the first, I began to struggle.  I found my anxiety levels getting higher, my temper getting shorter, my days felt very long, and not altogether happy.  I wasn’t depressed as such, but I was finding parenting much harder than I expected.  I had waited a long time for my 2 kids, and had thought that because I was older, (and I imagined wiser), that I would take to it like a duck to water! But this wasn’t the case.  In fact, parenting had, I discovered, amplified so many things for me, about me, and about my behaviour.  My children were like mirrors, reflecting to me things about myself, and they were not necessarily things I wanted to look at.

A friend dragged me along to a parenting course.  I didn’t enjoy it at all and rang the facilitator and told her I wouldn’t be back after the 1^st week.  But I did go back, and I completed the full 10-week course.  I later discovered that the very things that had irritated and annoyed me, were the very things I needed to look at and attend too in myself.  This was unconscious resonance.  I completed two more 10-week courses, about parenting teenagers and about relationships.  I then attended a mentor for many one to one therapy sessions.  That was when I realised that the work and the approach resonated with me very deeply. I wanted to pursue this on a professional level.   I completed my Higher Diploma (level 8) studies in Relationship and Parent Mentoring in University College Cork and began work as a Parent Mentor.  Since then I have decided to take my studies a step further and am currently doing an MSc. in Child and Adolescent Psychotherapeutic skills.

My training and qualification as a Parent Mentor provide me with unique skills and insight into parenting, family wellbeing and relationships.  This, coupled with my own lived experience as a parent, leave me feeling well placed to accompany parents on their own unique journeys.  Working with parents, I help them to overcome the family-related challenges they face and help them reach their full potential.  I provide much needed proactive support which enables parents to navigate family life.  This helps to foster improved family wellbeing and makes for positive change for everyone.  My approach is kind, compassionate, loving and non-judgemental.

This work usually takes place in a one to one therapy session, in Insight Matters. Parents come, either together or separately, and we explore their situation, looking at family dynamics, environment, history and each parents’ individual life story and experience.  As parents understand their relationship with themselves they are in a better position to understand their relationships with their children.  When parents put themselves first, and begin to understand their own behaviour, their children, extended families, colleagues, friends and ultimately society will reap the rewards.

I am passionate about increasing parents’ confidence around their parenting skills.  When parents’ confidence and competence around parenting increases, parents and children alike feel the benefits.

I believe strongly that parents’ mental health and emotional wellbeing are at the heart of a mature society.  When parents are considered, cared for and supported, the next generation will also be considered, cared for and supported.

I feel strongly that when parents put themselves first, when they parent themselves lovingly, that both they and their families feel the benefits.  I believe this because the work I have done on myself, and my way of being, has changed my life and my families lives for the better.  I strive to improve my relationship with myself daily, and through this my relationship with my family.  I see the benefits of personal reflection in myself and in my family life.

Parent Mentoring is not about methods and strategies, it is about unconditional holding and love.  A space is created where a parent can sit and examine what they need too in order to create a safe and loving environment for themselves and their families, in their home.

“Methods of any kind are strategies, and strategies do not open the hearts door.  It has to be blown open by a great wind, the wind of love, which is the only thing that will truly carry you away.” (The time before death, by Kabir), Roger Housden,  Ten Poems to Change Your Life, Pg. 53

Working as a Parent Mentor is extremely rewarding and fulfilling, and I am excited to continue working with parents to help them find the solutions they need to live a whole and more peaceful life with their families.

The post What is Parent Mentoring? appeared first on Insight Matters.

At Insight Matters we have 55 talented psychotherapists, psychologists and counsellors.  We are proud our therapists come from diverse backgrounds, ethnicities, the neurodiverse and LGBTQ community and are passionate about supporting our clients on a wide range of issues.

Along with supporting our clients through counselling and psychotherapy we also want to help them become more informed and assist them to take charge of their own mental journey through psychoeducational articles written by our therapists.

Dave Phillips is one our psychotherapists and he has a special interest in grief and bereavement, trauma-informed therapy, and existential issues. He also works with people preparing for, or recovering from surgery. 

Trauma can be a bit of a scary word…

In my experience it is a word that is frequently misunderstood, and it is a word that many of us veer away from, as it makes us uncomfortable. When we think of trauma we think of big, disruptive events. We see trauma on the news or in films, when there are catastrophic events or violent assaults.

We are less likely to see the things that happen in our own lives as traumatic. Even when there are events that are terrible, we tend to try to contain our own trauma, we try to smother it, and quieten it down. We often hope that the past will stay in the past and we can just carry on, but sometimes that doesn’t work.

I hope by the end of this you’ll have a better understanding of trauma, that it will seem a little less scary, and that you will have a better idea of how to get help if you need it.

What is trauma?

Simply put, trauma is what happens when we are overwhelmed to the point that we are no longer able to process or integrate what is happening.

There are several ways this can happen. It can happen as a once-off traumatic event like being in a car crash, being physically or sexually assaulted, experiencing a severe illness, or being in a disaster or warzone. Even being a witness to these kind of situations can be overwhelming. These potentially life-threatening events can lead to what is often referred to as ‘Capital T’ or ‘acute’ trauma.

But trauma can also happen through smaller events over time. ‘Small t’ or ‘chronic’ trauma can occur in a variety of situations such as living through a time where you are neglected or abused, living through health scares, bereavements, relationship breakdowns, or living with financial instability. The build-up of these smaller events that cause us prolonged periods of stress can overwhelm us in much the same way.

It is important to note that not all people who go through these circumstances, whether ‘Capital T’ or ‘Small t’ experience trauma. Sometimes we can go through very difficult experiences and find a way to process and integrate that experience outside of a therapy room, or we can have symptoms that slow down after a few weeks. However, when symptoms persist then therapy can be a very valuable option.

How does trauma show itself?

With ‘Capital T’ trauma, the link is often more obvious. We might experience flashbacks to the specific event, or find ourselves having recurrent nightmares connected to it. We might get on edge, or hypervigilant, when we find ourselves in similar circumstances. There are often feelings of anger or depression. It feels as if what happened is intruding on our day to day existence, and stopping us from living our lives as we wish we could. We can fall into addictive behaviours to try to counterbalance these feelings.

With ‘small t’ trauma it can be more difficult to see. People will often say ‘I don’t know what is wrong with me’. We can feel suddenly, inexplicably anxious or depressed. Or we might find ourselves over and over failing to set out what we achieved. It can be easy to see ourselves as weak or broken, and to grow frustrated and resentful with ourselves.

For all trauma survivors, one of the clearest ways we can see the impact is in our relationships. If we have been through experiences that have overwhelmed and hurt us, it makes sense that there is a certain reluctance to trust in people. We might assume that they will abandon us, or that they cannot be counted on, or that they cannot comprehend us. We might find it tough to maintain healthy, trusting relationships and that can lead to a sense of isolation.

How can counselling and therapy can help with trauma?

At the very heart of therapy is the connection between the client and the therapist. Working with a therapist to explore how trauma affects us is a slow and careful process. While telling our story may be part of therapy, it is not simply a case of recounting the event, doing that can often make us feel overwhelmed once again.

Working with trauma in therapy involves getting familiar with our own set of warning signals, so we can recognise when we are getting close to feeling overwhelmed. It involves learning exercises and ways that we can self-regulate, to bring our own emotions and thoughts back down to a level that feels manageable.

This way, over time, it begins to get easier to explore the trauma at a pace that feels safe, and to find creative ways to integrate it into our lives. Because we are doing this with a therapist, it is also a really important way to rebuild trust and connections, which allows us to have more meaningful relationships and to step out a cycle of isolation.

Post-traumatic growth

Dealing with trauma is undoubtedly one of the toughest things we can do. At some point we come to a stage where the potential risk involved in confronting trauma outweighs the pain of trying to keep it contained.

The good news is that when we go through this process, we can learn a whole new set of skills that can be applied in many areas in life. Researchers refer to this as ‘post-traumatic growth’, and it is important to keep in mind that we are naturally resilient, and that given the right circumstances and knowledge, we can move through very painful situations in life and come out the other side with a sense of strength and possibility.

The post What is Trauma? appeared first on Insight Matters.

It’s a difficult time for everyone, the Covid-19 outbreak has imposed severe and unexpected changes to our lives.

We aware of the growing emotional distress and anxiety this is causing our nation.

As a practice we remain open and provide online counselling and psychotherapy support to our clients.

However, if you need support but can’t afford it don’t let this stop you from reaching out.

Our therapists are available to provide online support.

To book your free 15 minutes online session call us on 01-8910703.

The post Do you have 15 minutes? We are here if you would like to talk… appeared first on Insight Matters.